Feb. 16th, 2016

teylaminh: (Buffy - sanity)
So, episode 2, "The Founder's Mutation". Not quite so many thoughts this time around...

As before, may contain spoilers, but not quite so much flail... )

In other, non-fandom news: I am considering going on leave of absence from choir again from September. At the moment, I am having to manage my attendance at rehearsals and my concert-performing around my energy levels at any given time. I won't be doing the next one on 7th March, which thankfully means I don't have to attend the next few weeks of rehearsals.

For the most part, this is because it's Mahler's 8th Symphony (known as the Symphony of 1000 Voices) and I frigging hate Mahler. The work is for three choirs, soloists and orchestra, and the score is sparse to say the least purely due to the size of it (we are Choir 1, the university choir is Choir 2, plus a children's choir), so leads are not clear (in some cases the orchestral score is non-existent) and I am really struggling to wrap my head around most of it. Basically I kind of gave up.

Also, I have a colleague's 40th birthday party literally the day before, and the rehearsal starts at 10.30am on Sunday morning, which will mean 12 hours spent within the overpriced confines of Symphony Hall. I do not have the energy for all that.

I probably should send apologies for the concert, but our membership secretary has changed twice September. The first one had to go on leave of absence but was grateful I'd taken the time to explain my health issues and why I had to opt out of a couple of concerts; the latest one didn't respond to my email about sending apologies for a recent rehearsal and the "away day" (which was initially the same day as the flights out to Bulgaria, though as it transpired I had a migraine anyway), so part of me is petulantly refusing to email her again and making her work it out for herself. :P

Doubtless soon I will get an email saying I haven't hit 75% attendance. :P

The concerts after that should be more up my street: a bit of Finzi, Karl Jenkins and Harold Darke (plus a day trip to Banbury Cathedral to do a recording), so hopefully I can do those, health and energy permitting.

The other thing is that the choir have been invited to two very exciting "touring" events which are so beyond my financial means it's laughable. The first is a trip to New York to sing a new work by Karl Jenkins at Carnegie Hall, at around £1200 per person. The other is a trip to Vienna which comes in at about half that. Admittedly, my mental health has been a bit fragile lately, but nonetheless both of these missed opportunities have filled me with despair, particularly when it's a drop in the ocean for other, longstanding choir members (most of whom are comfortably retired; one woman was boasting once about how she'd never had to work a day in her life because hubby paid for everything.)

So, yeah. I think leave of absence might be the best thing until I can sort out my health issues and be in a better frame of mind to consider whether or not I should remain at all. I don't want to just quit in a fit of pique, but I really do need to look at my other options, whether that's another choir or going the other way entirely into "am-op" or whatever (if I can find a company that rehearses vaguely not in the arse-end of nowhere). I need singing in my life, and I don't think CBC can fill that void for me any more, but it would be really hard going into anything smaller and less experienced. I really appreciate the opportunities the choir is given, but it often feels like the majority of members have become desensitised / blasé about it, because CBC is just that well-reknowned...

Anyway. Let's just add this to the list of Ridic Stressful Things still to recover from, shall we? :P

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teylaminh

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