teylaminh: (Absinthe!)
teylaminh ([personal profile] teylaminh) wrote2004-03-31 06:12 pm

Michael Crawford's Gene Kelly anecdote - transcript.

First transcription done.  This comes after "Tonight" and before "Before the Parade Passes By" as a link.  It's funny, but not as funny as the Phantom one that comes later...  I've tried to keep in all the stumbles and randomness because it's amusing, but it's sort of difficult to do, so bear with it.  I imagine there's also lots of interesting gestures and faces, but obviously, this being only an audio CD, I don't know what they are.  I'm sure you can imagine...

Gene Kelly
That, of course, is from West Side Story, and it was the very first musical that I - that I ever did see.  And from that moment on, I knew exactly what I wanted to be: a Jet.  I wanted to be... a Jet!  And I ended up... a Phantom!

*laughs* Since then... since then, I've had many memorable moments in my chosen profession, not the least of which came out of the blue one day when I- when I received a phonecall from Mr. Gene Kelly. He said he was directing a new film, and he had seen me in a Broadway show called Black Comedy, and he'd like me to fly to San Francisco and audition.  Thursday, 6pm, Fairmont Hotel, San Francisco, can I make it?

I made it.  Thursday morning, I checked in [at the] Fairmont Hotel, jet-lagged, stupid; I went up to my room, looked at my watch - I had eight hours to kill before the man arrived.  I thought, 'Well, w-w-w-what I can, what can I do, I... I'll have a shower.'  So I had a shower, had - I had a good shower, and then I finished my shower, had a shave.  And, err, I looked, well, pretty good; I finished, then I thought, 'well, ha, seven hours to go.' Still got seven hours to kill.  So I thought, 'I know, I'll completely, I'll rearrange the furni-'  I rearranged the furniture, the whole suite, I mean, I... it looked quite good.  I finished that, worked up a bit of a- had another shower, another shower.  Still six hours to go.  So, I th- then I went to the minibar, I arranged that in alphabetical order.  Forty minutes.  Try it.  Then... then I ate the fruit, the complimentary fruit, everything, including the kiwi.  Then, I had another bath, and then, another shave.  This time... I m-  I'm bleeding...

The time's now six o'clock.  There's a knock at the door.  I open the door.

"How you doin', kid, I'm Gene Kelly."

I said, "Oh!  Me, too!  I'm - uh-uh - I'm - ohhhh - ha! - I'm - ma-ma-ma, well, I'm-I'm-I'm I'm Michael Crawford, I'm not you, I'm me," I said, "but I'm... please, do come in, there's plenty of room, I..."  So, in he- he comes in, I said, "Uh, plea- go through there."  So, he walks in, he walks... and so I go behind him, I'm going, "I, uh, I rearranged all the furniture, and I-" and he... sorta looks at me as though I'm going to pounce on him.  A-and he walks in, and says,

"All right.  Let's cut the small talk.  Can ya dance?"

I said, "Well, I, I'm no- actually, I'm not, I'm not known for my dancing, no."

He said, "Well, whaddare ya known for?"

I said, "Well... um... nothing, really.  Ah.  I-I'm not known for anything, I've not done a lot, I've done some radio, but that's not... w-with the dancing, and, uh, I did some television.  Shakespeare.  Uh, and, I wore tights.  Um.  Well, actually, two pairs, 'cause my legs weren't too big, um, but they can get bigger, I can get bi- I can bulk up, if you really need me for the dancing."

So, he said, "Listen, get over here," he said.  With this, 'cause he can't dance on the- so, he gets up on the coffee table.  So now I've got Gene Kelly in the middle of this suite in-in San Francisco, on a... on a coffee table.  And I said,

"Oh, you're loo- on the coffee table!"

He said, "Geddup here!"

I said, "Me too?"  I got up. So, I go, and I'm through the- so I'm up here, Gene Kelly's standing here, and I say, I said, "This is funny. *high-pitched hysterics*," I said, "Look at the - we'll laugh about this one day! *giggles*"  And he's still looking at me, going,

"Can you dance?!"

I said, "Well-"

He said, "Do this!" *dances*

So I said, "I ca-" *dances*

He said, "That's it! One-two-three!"

I said, "Oh.  One-two-three, I can do, one-two-three.  Anything above that and I'd need a bt of rehearsal, but," I said, "I hear you don't go much above eight with the dancing."

So he said, um, "Listen, kid.  What we're looking for is an Attractive Idiot.  And my wife thinks you're attractive.  And I think you're an idiot."

Heh.  And that's how I got the part of the Attractive Idiot in the film Hello, Dolly, starring Barbra Streisand and Walter Mathou and directed by the most confidence-inspiring, and, well, he gave me courage, the man, he taught me to be brave, he taught me it was all right to share my energies and my, and my emotiosn with an audience and I shouldn't be afraid to do so. So he's to blame for tonight...


*grin*  Transcription can't really do it justice, mind you, but it makes me giggle.