Somewhat overdue an update - this is what happens when I have work to do.

Firstly: in writing news, I've finished my latest Pirates story, "Oranges to Florida", inasmuch as it's done on paper but I have 6.5 hand-written pages still to type up. Once that's done I will give it another once-over before posting to FFN / plugging on Tumblr. I've been trying to keep the style consistent, but a recent bout of reinspiration has meant that the latter half of the story is more dialogue-heavy than the beginning (and indeed more than I envisaged when I started), as well as including more from Jack's POV in addition to Elizabeth's. (Also, thanks to starting to follow the Sparrabeth blog on Tumblr halfway through writing it, the ending went in a direction I hadn't quite intended because my head was full of meta and subtext and FEELS. I'm not complaining, though, because it ends with some bloody glorious angst. :D)

Paul and I have finally made some progress in moving around the upstairs rooms, although the plan did change a little bit. We're about halfway done now - the daybed and TV / video storage unit (ex-wardrobe) have switched rooms with the PC and cube unit (effectively making the larger spare bedroom the office rather than the box room). This has meant that Denise and I were able to commence our X-Files rewatch on Sunday as we have somewhere to actually watch the videos. :D

In the process of room rearranging I thankfully uncovered my Sims 3 disc so have installed that on the laptop. It now runs properly and has already eaten about 16 hours of my life; at some point soon I'm going to start creating my own (hopefully fandom) characters, and I'm already dreading the insanity that will inevitably ensue... I think I'll probably start with Jonathan Creek; if I'm successful in orchestrating a Sim!Harry, I will be sure to share the (doubtless terrifying) results. :D

After tweeting a random conversation about badgers at work this afternoon, it has also resulted in potentially re-starting the Grand Jonathan Creek Watchathon soon with

cloudsinvenice. (Badgers = Jonathan Creek. So shall it be forever amen.)

The conversation in question went something like this:

Karen, who walks to work: I saw a badger walking to work this morning.
[Cue jokes about the badger going to the office.]
Me: Did it have a briefcase?
Maria: *has hysterics*

(We were all very tired and it was quiet in the office. :P)

As for the X-Files rewatch, on Sunday we managed to get through the first seven episodes ("Pilot", "Deep Throat", "Squeeze", "Conduit", "The Jersey Devil", "Shadows" and "Ghost in the Machine" - the fact that I still remember these without looking them up demonstrates how many times I've seen season 1). My intention this time around is to (a) finish all nine seasons, even though it's going to take a bit longer than last time, and (b) top up my original LJ episode reviews / recaps with different episodes. In all likelihood, however, I will just go on Tumblr and flail at the shippiness instead. :P

Rewatches with friends are fun. :D

( A few thoughts so far... )

Still not much to say about the actual episodes yet, as season 1 was a hodge-podge of "monster of the week" and early conspiracy stuff before the proper mythology set in, but I'll try and do an update every time we watch some episodes, at the very least. (I do, however, reserve the right to continually flail over "Post-Modern Prometheus". All my life.)

Current Mood: excited

Here is a recipe. Paul's new favourite thing is spaghetti carbonara, ever since he tried it at Bella Italia and it wasn't rammed full of four different cheeses and five tons of cream. So I had a bash last night using a Jamie Oliver recipe that I saw him make on TV (I think it was on his 30 minute meals but I can't remember now).

( Recipe: Spaghetti alla Carbonara )

Last night I attempted to synch the laptop with the printer upstairs, which failed because the desktop PC crashed the first time. I have now uninstalled the troublesome Virgin Media protection software (it shouted at me when it updated because we weren't with Virgin any more for internet access, still loaded but ate resources and periodically made everything freeze) and installed the free, resource-light Webroot software that we got free from e-buyer when we bought the laptop. So now I think I can print from the laptop to the printer upstairs, though I haven't tested it yet. ;)

Also I forgot to mention this amusing thing that happened a few weeks ago when we took David to Carluccio's for his birthday meal. My mum picked us up from the house and we drove into Birmingham. For some reason City Road was backed up with traffic (on a Sunday afternoon) so she turned around and headed down a side street towards Hagley Road instead. We accidentally went speeding over a hump-back bridge that she hadn't realised was there, resulting in several minutes of hysterical giggling as the car was suddenly airborne. :D

Okay, that's about it. Over and out.

Current Mood: okay

You may have noticed I am not football's biggest fan. I've watched the first two England matches under duress (I happened to be in the same room when they were on) and today several people at work set up a television in one of the meeting rooms in order to watch the 3.00pm match this afternoon. I understand the score was favourable, thus scuppering my hopes of us LOSING HORRIBLY.

Does that make me unpatriotic? No it bloody doesn't. I frelling hate football. Hate it. There are better ways to show your Englishness than shouting in a lairy fashion at some idiots kicking a ball around.

That being said, this letter in The Metro amused me this morning.

Because honestly, if we can't beat the USA at a game they can't even refer to properly, we are a lost cause. This is a country that takes games we play at school and makes them EASIER (American Football = Rugby with wussy armour; Baseball = Rounders with helpful catchy glove; Basketball = Netball where you can run with the ball. Miss Jackson would eat you alive for that. :P)

I shall now flee before my potentially very unpopular opinion loses me half of my f-list. Buhbye.

Current Mood: cynical

Here's a bit more work humour for you, even though I know it's not funny outside of the office. I like to record these things for posterity... (Er, not verbatim because I can't quite remember it...)

( Cut because it's mostly for my own benefit. )

Anyway, even though it was somewhat inane, it brightened up my morning.

I was so tired this morning that I bought a croissant from Pret and then forgot about it until 10.20... (I got into work at 9.00). Not quite so nice after being zapped in the microwave for 45 seconds, unfortunately. I was hungry when I bought it, but was then concerned with drinking my coffee (mmmm, liquid sanity) and forgot it was there. Oh, well.

For some reason I couldn't get to sleep last night. We went to bed around 11.00 and Paul nodded off almost straight away, but it took me a couple of hours to nod off, despite being really tired beforehand. I had various bits of songs going around my head, which didn't help, starting with Sea Drift (the horrendously difficult thing we're doing for the November concert; even Adrian said that if he ever met Delius in a bar he'd hit him upside the head... :P) and then I think it was the Killers. Can't remember. Annoying, though.

( Work moaning )

*ahem* Sorry, just had to get that off my chest...

In other news, I've been trying to get a plain, black, v-neck t-shirt for work. I did have one, but it has gone AWOL in the flat, presumably to the same place as the big nail clippers and the metal tape measure. I swear we have Gremlins, or perhaps a particularly mischievous poltergeist... it's getting a bit silly now. (Having said that, I did find my bicarbonate of soda*, at the back of the cupboard behind the six-tonne bag of pasta...) Anyway, do you think I can find a black t-shirt? No, of course not. I've tried Primark, New Look, Peacocks and Store 21 (in Kings Heath) to no avail... next course of action is Matalan, but I don't really want to traipse that far just for a t-shirt - and I know full well that as soon as I buy one, the one I lost will miraculously reappear...

My new embroidery frame arrived this morning, so I'll put my ongoing / on-hiatus project onto that, as I transferred the Christmas decorations to the old one on Monday. Will post a photograph of the first completed one soon... I did realise last night, however, that I've measured my fabric partitions wrong and divided it into eight segments, and there are 10 decorations. Bugger. Thankfully, some of them are narrow, so I might be able to rectify it...

I'm sure I had another thing to post about, but I've forgotten it... probably for the best, as this is quite long enough already.

Over and out.

* Here's a handy tip from the ever-resourceful Kim and Aggie, which works wonders. If you have a blocked drain, pour down half a cup of bicarb, half a cup of salt, and half a cup of white vinegar. This part is quite fun for the chemical reaction, though the fumes are a bit rank (unless you like vinegar...) Leave it five minutes and then pour through with boiling water. I didn't think this would work but it's actually unblocked our bath (as much as it's possible to do) and it's draining at a reasonable pace now. So, forget Mr Muscle, go for the all-natural solution. :) I wish I'd known this when our kitchen sink was blocked rather than attempting to kill myself with chlorine gas...

Current Mood: tired

just go here.

I was only half-convinced they would actually make a real Compare the Meerkats site, but there it is. :P

Current Mood: amused

...with a bit of random humour from work, though I think - as ever - it's probably not that funny outside of the environment.

Peter is dictating a letter and and the address is incredibly silly. Something similar to "The Building of Greeting and Homeliness" - that level of silly pretentiousness. Anyway, he starts sniggering through the address and then goes:

"Terribly sorry. It is very childish to laugh at somewhere's address. [comedic pause] But I did."

As usual, it loses a lot in the re-telling. Still, it amused me.

In all the Sunset-related excitement, I forgot to actually update about Sunday...

( Sunday )

On Friday at work our team are having a Red Food Day in honour of Comic Relief - one week before everyone else's fund-raising efforts, because we're weird like that. Team meeting today is going to discuss final arrangements. We're meant to have enough food to feed our building and the other teams in King Edward House, but I don't know if we'll manage it. Should be fun, though.

Right, I'd better get back to doing some work. I have to try and leave early today (assuming there's anyone around to offer cover - I seem to be the only one willing to stay late when needed) to trek to Acocks Green and get some red paste food colouring, as the liquid stuff is useless, and obviously the supermarkets don't stock anything else. Apparently there's a cake decorating shop in Acocks Green so I'll go find it later.

Back to the typings.

Current Mood: okay

Quite busy this weekend. I was out most of Saturday due to rehearsal and concert, and then Paul went to a house party after the concert and didn't return until 5.00am...

The concert went okay, I think. The audience turn out wasn't quite as bad as expected, and apart from the tenor soloist coming in early a couple of times (we had to rehearse that bit about four times and it still didn't work) it actually sounded okay. Have to do it all again in two weeks' time in Bristol, but at least now the rehearsals are going to be Messiah and Christmas-focussed, which is always a joy. Now if the German Market would just bugger off I might be able to enjoy Christmas for once. (I've booked off 3rd December as my now-traditional Shopping Day, and this year I'm going to take the shopping trolley with me...)

As for the rest of Saturday: I walked back to the city centre with Paul and one of his friends, Sonja, as they were going off to Mara's birthday party together, and we parted ways at Pij. I was utterly soaked by the time I got home. On getting back I put washing to dry upstairs (this was at about 10.30) and then slobbed about online for a bit without really achieving anything except a Deep and Meaningful email conversation with Eni. I went to bed around 2.00am after another episode of X-Files (now at the end of season 2), until I couldn't keep my eyes open. These days I'm not very good at sleeping alone (I don't count Lisa being in as being not alone), especially in a creaky old house with neighbours who don't seem to sleep, so it's best if I just tire myself out before I attempt to sleep.

Anyway, as a result, I woke up purely by chance at 5.00am needing to cough, only to have Paul go "Hello?" at me in the dark, which was vaguely terrifying...

The other bizarre thing was another bloke called Paul who rang up wanting to speak to Lisa and ended up with me answering the phone. This occurred at 12.30am (yes, that's after midnight) so I was probably not exactly completely awake, and as a result when he introduced himself I thought it was someone at Mara's party taking the piss, having stolen my Paul's phone. Other Paul attempted to prove he was who he said he was with some nonsensical (to me, anyway) anecdote, and then it transpired I was not Lisa. I had no idea if she was in, but nevertheless, even if she was, I imagine she would be in bed at 12.30am anyway. After that I shut the living room door so as not to hear the phone (meh...) and ended up making myself some pasta at around the same time because I was hungry. It was a bit of a strange night, all told.

On Sunday, of course, we slept in. Went out to Sainsbury's to get breakfast stuff and then watched telly for a bit until going over to Paul's mum's for the Firework Extravaganza which didn't happen last week. We arrived first and tried to get the bonfire started, which lasted for a while but burnt the wood a little too quickly and kept going out, unfortunately. Still got some interesting picture of it, nonetheless. Darren and Andrea and kids arrived at about 6.00pm and we set off a few fireworks, though it all ended a bit suddenly due to some Familial Angst on their side. In any case, Paul and I stayed and the remaining four of us set off what was left of the fireworks. This involved a lot of ducking and covering because the damn things kept dropping to earth practically on top of our heads: either the wooden stalks of the rockets or the orange plastic tops, which promptly hit the roof and shattered everywhere. Oh, and then there was the rocket which failed to take off, rose three inches in the air and then landed in the garden before exploding, which was... well, perhaps 'exciting' is the wrong word, but by that point everyone was a bit drunk and found it vaguely hilarious in an almost-losing-an-eye way...

We ended the night watching the start of I'm A Celebrity... before heading home and going straight to bed. I'll upload the photographs later, though most of them aren't very good. I think I need to go to a professional firework display one of these days to test out the firework function better, as my timing was basically crap. Pretty fire photos, though...

Thankfully, it's a quiet one next weekend, though it's going to get considerably busier as Christmas approaches. I'll just be glad when the second Beethoven concert is out of the way. I mean, it sounded frelling amazing, but my word, it's tiring to sing. We get to sit down for a bit after the "Credo" section, but that section is about 15 minutes long, mostly in the upper range of the voice and incredibly fast... absolutely mad. Beethoven was a sadist, clearly.

Oh, and I forgot to mention Adrian's amusing comment to inspire the tenors:

"When you're singing this, imagine Beethoven going ' I vill write zis part for ze tenors and keeeel zem!'..."

Dunno if it worked, but just about summed up the piece in general, really. :D

As ever, I didn't intend this to be so long... can't be bothered to cut, though, sorry. :P

Current Mood: satisfied

Kiwi posted this one on Facebook. It literally had me in hysterics...

And this is a strange talking cat. A lot of the 'talking cat' videos on YouTube are just cats meowing in a vaguely 'conversational' fashion, but this is just plain weird...

The blurb from whoever posted it reads:

My cat can say hello, she only does it when shes looking for you though once you call her or she sees you she'll stop so I had to set the camera up and leave it for awhile until she did it.
She does this at least 10 times a day shes does it in the morning when she wants us to get up, in the night when shes bored and wants us to get up and when shes finished eating and want to know what room were in (which is what shes doing in this video hence the lip licking, shes cleaning them).
Its nothing to do with hairballs as she never coughs up a hairball after doing it
Its not because shes in heat she was spayed around 14 years ago, shes 16.

Heres what I think its sounds like shes saying:
"Hello, Hello, Hello, I Know Hello, Hello Hello Hello. Hello. I'm Alone, I'm on my own, I'm Alone, I know hello."

When my mum and I had Paws, there were a couple of occasions when he was heard to say "Mummy". He only did it twice that I can remember, and both times were on the way back from the vet or the kennels, whilst he was in the travel cage. I don't mean it was a meow that sounded like the word, it was the actual word.

And someone else heard it, too. We had someone else pick him up once and afterwards, she said... "Er... this will sound crazy, but... does he usually talk?"

Paws would only say "Mummy" if he was frightened, presumably because he'd heard me saying it as a kid when I needed something.

He also used to say "no", but I think most cats manage that one. :)

Apparently one of our other cats learnt to impersonate the magpies, too. Cats are weird, but fun. :)

Current Mood: amused

ihasacortina may well be the greatest LJ community in the history of LJ communities.

That is all.

Edit: Although I am massively disappointed by the lack of Boosh!macros. :)

Current Mood: amused

I love the irony of this: there was a van outside the office this morning collecting our confidential waste for shredding and recycling - obviously, a very green thing to do. Except it had its engine running, in order to shred the shredding. Nice going. :P

I posted chapter three of "Strange Glue" last night (I need to work on Chapter 5 before I post the next one, though) and also wrote a bit of chapters seven and eight of "Rain...", which has suddenly come out of hibernation. I had three reviews last night before bed - I checked again this morning to find 18!! One for "Rain" and the others for "Glue". Note to self: Shippiness Sells. (I'm really proud of what I did for "Rain" last night; the fluff completely came out of nowhere and took over, and means I don't have to do two alternative endings because I managed to combine them...)

Kate (Solicitor) made us all giggle this morning... She was trying to give out her email address to somebody clueless on the phone. (For clarity, our email addresses read as name_surname@... or name.surname@...). The conversation on our end follows:

Kate: "It's 'Kate', 'underscore'... no, it's like a line..." [cue much more of the same] "Do you want to just give me your email address and I'll email you..." [afterwards, hen the conversation was over...] "I can't spell it. It's a f*cking underscore!

Here's another one, though possibly it's another of those "only funny if you do nothing but type all day" moments: the tape I just picked up from Heather is a Statement of Facts (i.e. a document listing all the facts of the case / history that prove that a child should be adopted) and she began it with "This is for Judge X so it needs to be perfect." (Judge X hates the local authority about 95% of the time, for no apparent reason...)

I've finally been paid, four days earlier than usual but three days later than anticipated - it won't help that much with February being a five-week month, but Paul is meant to be givnig me lots of money in February to make up for it. At this rate I'll believe it when I see it, but only because having no money for a year has made me rather cynical...

Gosh, I'm tired. I woke up at about 5.00am today for no reason at all, and even though I've been going to bed early, it's only so I can write for a couple of hours without it ending up at midnight...

Ah well. Nearly lunchtime.

Current Mood: amused

I got bored and followed a recent link on

pandorasblog's journal relating to Anne Rice reviewing things on Amazon and imdb, and went off to have a look. Rice links her Amazon reviews from her website, assuming - naturally - that her avid fans will be interesting in reading absolutely everything she has to say...

Her review of Interview with a Vampire (the film) is quite amusing. She gives everything she reviews five stars. There's also a 'review' which takes the form of berating people who have left negative reviews for one of her books (part of the Chronicles) because "you're not coming at it from the right angle" or some such.

Perhaps the most amusing to me was her review of the Phantom adaptation.

Five stars, Anne? Really?

This says to me several things:

1) She's never seen the musical.

2) She's either never read the book, or has only read Leroux.

3) She fails at Phantom.

Anyone who can give that movie five stars is wrong in the brain. :P

(I notice, however, that she hasn't reviewed the Queen of the Damned movie. Clearly wasn't pleased with that one, then.)

Current Mood: amused

Conversation this morning, regarding Marie's quite disgraceful drunken behaviour at the meal yesterday lunchtime, and the fact that she was supposed to be in a meeting that afternoon...

Gaynor M: Well... she is quite bubbly.
Me: Yeah, but there's a difference between 'bubbly' and 'been at the bubbly'...

;)

Other than that, uneventful day so far today.

Things I MUST MUST MUST REMEMBER to take to work with me tomorrow:

Choir outfit;
Messiah music;
Music folder

Rehearsal is at 5.00, so I also cannot be delayed at work, either.

Given that the next Messiah is on Tuesday, I have requested flex leave for Wednesday 12th December, mainly because the concert doesn't end until 10.15 or thereabouts, and I will be knackered. So, if I get that day off, it will be my shopping day. Having a shopping day worked out quite well last year, and I'm setting myself (hopefully) a strict spending limit because I R skint. Cheap books from The Works all around, I think.

That's assuming I get it, anyway. There's supposed to be a meeting with Graham (personnel chap) about the block appeal for the WPO post that day, so I'm hoping I'm not obligated to attend. Nobody else is off that day so there's no problem there. I've started to dread trying to get time off, which is a bit of a shame...

Paul rightly pointed out last night that the bank probably only wanted to hassle me about upgrading to a 'Silver' account, as they sent with the letter the other day. If it's that desperate, I'm sure they'll ring me back, but it doesn't make the situation any less annoying re: opening hours.

Current Mood: okay

11.15am:
I think that may have just made my morning.

I just finished typing a tape from Vel. She finished the report but must've forgotten to stop recording, because it carried on for the remaining minute or so of the tape and revealed her battled with a flying insect. I heard "Get out of here!" and "The window's open!" quite distinctly. :)

I'm not entirely sure whether to be amused, or terrified that this is the single highlight of my day...

12.30pm:
The downside is, I just tried to open a file off the P drive - to help out a completely useless Social Worker who is always completely incapable of finding these things for herself - and it crashed my entire PC. Luckily, Word auto-recovered 90% of the document I'd been typing...

Current Mood: amused

Well, I finally sorted out those bloody boxes. Two of them had stuff in that easily fit into one, and another two had stuff in that wasn't mine. End point, the landing is now full of boxes again (empty ones, at least) and I can see my floor again. Moved some stuff around and can't open my wardrobe all the way again, but eh, I can live with that if I can walk straight across the room to get to it instead of in a U-shape.

Yay, floor.

I dusted/cleaned my windowsill, and put all my ornaments back. But didn't hoover, because that would have involved carrying the Dyson up two flights of stairs, which, no.

I can now allow myself to do sod-all for the remaining two days of my leave. Hurrah.

( Found in a box. )

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Danny Elfman - Corpse Bride soundtrack

With Eni, of course.

Posting this here because I'm not entirely sure she got the link during the multiple bootings...

( The Adventures of Staple Man! )

It's safer not to ask, but suffice it to say it had something to do with Virtual Staplers. The Internet is a scary place.

Current Mood: silly
Current Music: KT Tunstall - Eye To The Telescope

Stolen off

joetimewaster.

( Four things )

No tagging.

So, I got up today at my usual time of 7.00, but because I had to get the bus the whole way I didn't get in until 9.00. Why is it that as soon as there's the slightest hint of bad weather, the public transport in this bloody city just goes wrong and starts being idiotic? Bah.

I didn't get a chance to look at the application last night so will have to rush through it on Thursday. We went out for drinks and Thai food last night, which was nice. Spent much of the time at the pub talking about my counselling and mental state, which was sort of vaguely cathartic because I haven't really been involving the household in it for not wanting to worry them.

I was also reminded of the shop I saw about two years ago on the way to the NEC. It was a company that basically took the photographs of food that they use in menus and restaurants, but the sign was worded very strangely indeed. Something like "beautiful food photographs". Unfortunately, the shop has apparently gone again so I can't find it and can't take a photograph of it... but it conjured up images of people on diets going to the shop to view photographs of food they weren't allowed to have. There'd be a seedy little man behind the counter, and a couple of grubby viewing booths, and he'd say, "D'you want to see some... *shifty expression* cakes? I got some new chips in this morning... lovely, greasy chips."

It would make a very good short film...

Anyway, on that slightly surreal note, I shall sign off.

Current Mood: weird

I did an entry this afternoon at work, because I was losing the will to live...

( This afternoon's entry )

So, yes, not that exciting, really.

It took me slightly longer to get home today than I would like. I left work at 5.30 and got back at 6.45, due to train stupidity. It was delayed by 10 minutes and subsequently rammed (mostly because it was only two carriages long - nice planning there, Centro) and then another one turned up 5 minutes or so later that was empty. The bus wasn't too bad. Also, the lights in the tunnel just before the station weren't working, so there was a big, spooky chasm to the right...

We're having enchiladas for dinner. :)

Going to Paul's tomorrow so will update on Thursday, assuming anything exciting happens, which it probably won't. We're still working through Twin Peaks so should at least get up to episodes 2 and 3 tomorrow night. It's not like there's anything on telly.

Current Mood: hungry

Amusing snippet of conversation.

Phone: *rings*
Amanda: *picks up* Good afternoon, Child Protection & Review... Hello... Just a moment, I'll put you through. *mutters* Paul Burge, Paul Burge... ah. *dials*
Phone: *rings*
Cynthia: *picks up, looking askance at Amanda* ...Good afternoon, Child Protection & Review.
Amanda: EH??
Cynthia: What are you ringing me for?
Amanda: I wanted Paul!
Cynthia: He's not on this number! This is my number!

(All this whilst sitting not three feet away from each other.)

I have no idea how she managed that. Cynthia is on 3###9 and Paul's on 4###8. (Thought it best to edit those numbers out.)

Not to mention the giggle fit that ensued when the Conference rearranging went completely to Hell and fell apart.

I hope Tina Roper is proud of herself. She's officially turned our organisation into chaos with one simple move.

Current Mood: going mad

I don't remember when I last updated, but I think it was Monday.

I'll do the interests meme later. Have just about caught up on my f-list this morning (you spammers) but not in any in-depth fashion. Hugs, sympathy, congratulations, etc, etc, etc to everyone who wants them...

So, brief update.

Tuesday
Depite wanting a 'quiet night in', Paul dragged me to the Jug of Ale in Moseley for the pub quiz, because it turned out that Bertie Wooster (Inliner) and Luke (

legs11) were both going and he'd never met the former and hadn't seen the latter in ages. As it turned out, Luke forgot and didn't turn up, but Bertie (real name: Ben) did and was a thoroughly pleasant chap.

We, "The Bertie Wooster Memorial Fund", came third.

Highlights from random conversations include:

Quizmeister: Name a food you can eat with your fingers. (It was the Family Fortunes round)

rubytitania: Crisps!

metalmikey666: Crisps aren't food!

rubytitania: I'd quite like to go to New Orleans...

teylaminh: Is that because of the vampire slash?

rubytitania: Natternatternattersomethingsomethingsometh- No, it's not because of the vampire slash! ...well, maybe a little bit...

It's not easy to retell that one... but it was funny at the time.

The evening was thoroughly pleasant, though, and involved the sweetest sherbert love heart ever. :) ~~You'll have to catch me on messenger to find out why... :P~~

Wednesday
Eventless day at work other than the fact that the Department, once more, is falling apart and the CPAs are left to put it back together.

The evening was spent at Jimmy Spices for a leaving/birthday/general meal organised by Tina H. Starters were good; main courses less so... It all seemed a bit cliquey, but that could'vde been to do with the fact that the Small Heath crew sat at one end of the table and the Ladywood crew at the other end. Ah, well.

Other than that, things have been relatively normal.

Today I desperately need to tidy my room, as the general mess is not helped by the excess of random clothing piling up on the floor. Meh.

Current Mood: awake

Re-reading old Voyager fic on The Zircona, and this advert appears:

14 checks, huh? Making sure it's got less than 5,000 light years on the clock? That it's warp-capable? Maybe check there's no sneaky little Borg adaptations in the programming?

Current Mood: amused

It's. Too. Hot.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO

jackiesjottings!! Have a pirate. :)

Listening to CD2 of 3; tomorrow, Shock Treatment. Today, it's been So Long & Thanks For All The Fish, which I think is in the innings for Best Song Ever right now. I may have to listen to the Once Around the Sun CD, though, as Joby Talbot really is very good at this music thing.

( Amusing snippet telling the story behind SL&TFATF )

Work was fairly tedious today, really. Nothing very exciting happened. I phoned up Bartley Green to inform them that one of our cases was transferring and sent the file over, which it isn't my job to do, but anyway. If it's all done wrong and goes tits-up, then it's because I'm not meant to do things like that. The heat became unbearable at about 2.30 as usual, and Sandra interrogated me a bit more about Paul, making like she's expecting a frelling wedding invite. Er, not that there's a wedding or anything. Um.

That's about it. Frell knows when I'll get anything to eat tonight. I think I'll go play Sanitarium a bit more...

Current Mood: hot
Current Music: Joby Talbot et al - H2G2 soundtrack

I was having two conversations at once last night, one with

bizarre_imagery and one with

thefleshfailure, and some of the bits of conversation just need to be chronicled...

( Fliss!Randomness. )

( Eni!Randomness - lots of it. )

Bravo to anyone who survived all of that. It was hilarious at the time... I swear, one day we will destroy the world.

So, today I have been in an insanely good mood. The office has been nice and quiet and, aside from having the Distribution of Ultimate Death (6 kids...), I've even had very little work to do so spent the majority of my time mucking around on Inline... There was surprisingly little mickey-taking on there, even though Jonathan/unprouncable-name-guy outright outed us in his MGM post... still confused a couple of people though, which is always fun. Of course, the good mood was only elevated by my extreme nervousness about phoning Tor about the MHLive tickets... I went outside in my lunch break to do so and she was lovely...

Actually, the entire thing was disastrous, amusingly so. I phoned up and said I'd have the four tickets (Steve and Kate can go so I've only got to sort out the other one) and she'd give my name and details to the ticket company and effectively bump me to the front of the queue. So, five minutes after this call I remembered I hadn't given her my phone number, and had to call again. An hour or so after that, there was a voicemail message from Tor on my mobile saying she'd lost my address and could I phone up to give it to her - I phoned up and she'd popped out, so I had to phone again, so now, hopefully, it'll all get sorted.

And then later I managed to cut Paul off on my mobile. Oops.

So, yes. Randomness last night also helped with the good mood, though at the time I was in "I love eeeeveryone!" mode, as the Eni!snippet demonstrates... However, I was in such a good mood I've gone the entire day with no caffeine, so by home time I was half-dead. Ah, well.

Hee. It didn't hit me til at least 12.30 that OMG I'M GOING TO MOST HAUNTED LIVE!!! :D :D Juuuust a tad excitable about that. I've warned the office that I will be utterly unbearable for the next two weeks... possibly, this is not warning enough. Seriously. I was practically bouncing off the walls today.

In which case, I should probably stop typing... :)

Current Mood: jubilant

Firstly:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, flatline2010

Secondly, who remembers The Worst Witch? Not the crappy series from CITV, the truly brilliantly awful film from 1986?

Well, You'll love this, then...

I'm struck with the overwhelming urge to watch it again, now... :D

Current Mood: amused

Completely random remembrance from New Year's. On New Year's morning (ish) me, Naomi and Sarra were all watching the Horror Channel, as it was the most entertaining thing we could find, and ended up catching the last half an hour or so of The White Zombie.

I don't recall that we ever figured out what was going on, but I remember a) being very impressed by some random shot of Bela Lugosi through a hole in the lattice-like stone wall (given that film-makers basically learnt everything as they were going along and the fact that someone thought to do the shot like that at that time just seemed quite impressive) and b) realising that Bela Lugosi, god love 'im, only seemed to be there so he could be Bela Lugosi, and this random comment ensued:

Me: Don't you just get the impression that Bela Lugosi only got cast because he turned up on set and went *spreads arms in gesture of greeting, adopts Lugosi-accent* "Hello!"

It loses a lot in the retelling, but was quite amusing at the time. Like a scene out of Ed Wood, or something...

I have no idea why I just remembered that... O.O

Current Mood: weird
Current Music: Katie Melua - Blame It On The Moon | Alanis Morrisette - Hand In My Pocket

Okay. Remember back in the Hallowe'en write-up I mentioned that Eni and I had watched

herringprincess' Tubby the Tuba video, and come up with a live action cast for it? Well, I was planning on getting screencaps and putting them up for all to see, as well as something else for her birthday that I've half-forgotten about. And today, I finally got those screencaps.

There were 140 in total, then condensed to 90. Most are blurred, but dammit, they're screencaps. It's really difficult getting screencaps by way of taking photographs of the television, and I'm amazed half of them came out at all.

And some of them can now be seen, at last.

The thing I was meant to do for Eni, however, is still pending, though it's... half-done in what follows.

Tubby the Tuba - the Musical!

Turn away now if you're of a nervous disposition...

:D

Eni, I'll send you the zip after I've eaten...

Current Mood: hungry

So, I'm back from London. There'll be photos and possibly a write-up (famous last words...) at some point.

And what else do I have to show for myself from my visit to this great city of culture?

Well, this.

Type fast. It's funny. :D

Current Mood: amused

F.A.O

collie_wing, amongst others.

Phantom-type parody of the movie. Snark is funny. :D

Today was boring. I was sneezing all day because of a cold, which I'm trying to kill off before Saturday, and I had very little to do. On the plus side, I got a reply to my reply to the Chair who sent me the arsey email, the gist of which was this:

"Thank you for your prompt response and thank you for your acknowledgement. I suppose we all dictate minutes differently and mistakes can easily be made. Thank you for typing up the minutes and all the best for the coming year."

HA! Just goes to prove I will not stand for someone blaming me entirely for something that was only partially my fault just because they went off on one, and that sending pretentiously worded but otherwise polite emails does actually work...

Now back to reading that parody...

Current Mood: amused

Yesterday was interesting. Mundane, by most standards, but interesting. My father texted to say that he wasn’t coming because he felt ill (which was good, because I was knackered anyway) so instead we went to Asda to get the beginnings of the Christmas food shopping, then watched Eastenders and lots of the other Sunday evening television.

We caught the apparent second part of an adaptation of Oliver Twist starring the ever-talented Julie Walters, Robert Lindsay (the bloke from My Family; he got a degree at Derby, y’know…) as Fagin, and Kiera Knightley. It’s quite good, though seems to be not only adapting the book but adding things to it in the process. One of the breaks showed the shortened trailer for the Phantom movie. Eek. It’s all big and cinematic. I’m quite scared.

Anyway. The hilarity happened mid-way through, when, having eaten far too many liquorice bootlaces (bought at Worcester’s Christmas Fair on Saturday) – strawberry-flavoured ones, at that – there was an advert for that new animated thing with Tom Hanks. You know how they have to put warnings on everything now, like “Some violence, some slight terror”, that sort of thing?

Well, this is certainly a new one. “Contains mild peril.”

Which, for some reason, I found completely hysterical, to the extent that it, combined with OMGsugarrush!, caused me to still be giggling about twenty minutes later. Remember when you used to get the dreaded Giggles as a kid? Yeah. That. Except when you’re 23, it really bloody hurts. I would counter the “laughing is good for you” sentiment with the “but my stomach aches and I can’t breathe” argument… The noises I was making could pretty much be equated to this:

“Hahahahahahahaowwwwheeheeheeheeheeeowwwww… ow. Ow. [comedic pause] *snort* Pahahahahaha!”

For twenty minutes. It was painful.

As to the people not sucking, we watched the last half of The Ultimate Film, with John Cleese, which was a poll of the 100 top movies, as determined by the actual statistics of people that saw them in the UK, rather than people voting. We had a bet midway through with David, which we won, by half a point: I said that Titanic would be in the top 5 and it was in the top 10; we both said that a Disney animation would be in the top 5 [Snow White came third, which my mother’d also nominated as a film in the top 5 in its own right], I said The Sound of Music, which came second, and she said Gone With the Wind, which won. So, it turns out that the actual movie-going public sucks less than I anticipated. All three Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings films came in the top 50, some in the top 20. But it just goes to show that the classics are still, after 70 years, top of the pile. The day something beats Gone With the Wind in terms of production value, attendance, and popularity even twenty years down the line, I might regain my faith in Hollywood.

But until then, the majority of people still suck. ;)

Also, on Sunday morning, I had a vaguely Pirates of the Caribbean-related dream. In it, Johnny Depp and Kiera Knightley were having a comment-tennis, only on paper, and in two separate rooms… but as their characters, in the comments. It was confusing. All I expressly remember is this weird bit wherein Kiera said “Do you think Jack meant those things he said?” – those things being shippy things, obviously – and then there was something with a metal hut on a beach (the sand was red near the hut and sand-coloured everywhere else) and something I don’t quite recall that was vaguely ominous, just as I woke up. And now I have this wonderful line in my head that’s just dying to be a fic, somehow:

Jack: [sternly, warning her] I’ve killed more people than you can count, missy!
Elizabeth: [gives him a look]
Jack: Oh, all right, I’ve killed more people than I can count. But that’s beside the point.

Probably quite inaccurate, but it amused me when it popped into my head. =)

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Juliana Hatfield - In Exile Deo

Things that look like Jack Skellington and make silly noises. What more coud you want?

Firstly, a random amusement from this afternoon. I was heading back to the office as Katie - who might be leaving soon as she's actually a temporary temp rather than a permanent-until-you-get-bored temp like me - was coming out of it. The following random conversation occurred, bearing in mind we'd spoken not five minutes ago:

Katie: Hello.
Me: Hello, how are you?
Katie: I'm fine, thank you.
Me: Good, good.
Katie: Haven't seen you for a while.

All this while we passed each other and carried on walking. I suppose you had to be there, but it was funny at the time...

And, some pictures, which I'm sure

queenc2346 will appreciate...

( Shoeses! )

Current Mood: mellow

Randomly decided to listen to the other compilation CD Naomi made me, and remembered the completely wonderful "The USS Make Shit Up". Lyrics are below. It's funny because it's true.

( Har! )

Oh, isn't parody fantastic?

Current Mood: and very very amused
Current Music: Voltaire - The USS Make Shit Up

This one didn't take as long; wish I'd typed the other one straight up...

( Phantom )

Tee hee. I just love that story...

Current Mood: giggly

First transcription done. This comes after "Tonight" and before "Before the Parade Passes By" as a link. It's funny, but not as funny as the Phantom one that comes later... I've tried to keep in all the stumbles and randomness because it's amusing, but it's sort of difficult to do, so bear with it. I imagine there's also lots of interesting gestures and faces, but obviously, this being only an audio CD, I don't know what they are. I'm sure you can imagine...

( Gene Kelly, or, even celebrities can be fanboys )

*grin* Transcription can't really do it justice, mind you, but it makes me giggle.

Current Mood: amused

warning: i am about to release the inner POTO-phangirl.

*releases*

OMG!!!  i have to see it.  i simply have to.  it's michael crawford, back where he belongs, in a lloyd webber musical (a new one!) at the palace theatre (the london one, where les misérables plays), which is huge, and the plot's all victorian, and did i mention it's michael crawford?! singing!  and he's playing a villain!  and that just automatically makes it, like, fifty times better!

this would be the stage door lurk of the frelling millennium, dude!!  everyone buy me tickets!  now!  the closest i ever got to michael crawford was his signing in birmingham's WHSmith in upper sixth, and even then i couldn't really get close because the queue was too long and i had to get back for general studies (which, okay, pointless, but i'd had the same teacher for english that morning...) so i saw him from about ten feet away and basked.

OMG!!!!  michael crawford singing a lloyd webber villain part in the west end!  michael frelling crawford!!!

*gets out lasso, captures phangirl kicking and screaming, and cages her*

sorry about that.  i just had to.  normal service will be resumed in a moment.

right, now for an amusement from work.  though probably only if you were there...  person enters during the busiest part of the night, when there is a queue about five deep at the bar.  person orders the following: two bacardi and cokes, a JD and coke, two carlsbergs, and half a stella, and probably something else.  i ring this in.  then he orders two packets of scampi fries and a bag of roasted peanuts.  i ring it in.  meanwhile, sue is trying to pull a pint of burton for someone else, and laura is trying to get past with dirty glasses from the other bar.  it's only a small bar. you can fit three people behind it when they're not all doing something.  anyway, the bar is also full of empty glasses and half-drunk pints and ashtrays and all manner of general debris, so there's no room to actually put anything down.  i'm trying to put the bags of snacks on the bar, and eventually just give up and drop them in the general direction of an empty space.

sue and several punters crack up laughing, because apparently it was very funny.  it looked, it seems, as though i just hurled the snacks at the customer (which i did, sort of, but i didn't have much choice) which of course sets me going, and i have to try and tell the person how much it all costs while giggling.  much fun all around, and we were still laughing about it ten minutes later...  and i'm stil laughing about it now, but i'm not entirely sure why.  just tired, i suppose...

anyway, tomorrow, i'm going to get up early.  yes, i am, brain.  don't try to convince me to sleep til 3.30 again. mainly because i'm going to make a concerted effort to do the following:

~ tidy up.  and whilst tidying up, get some more laundry done, because it's getting on top of me and i can't change my bed til i've done it.  tidying up to include under the bed, because my red handled scissors have vanished, as has my pritt stick
~ get some frozen food
~ all of the things mentioned in the previous post

Current Mood: fangirl

stupid people scare me. but they're also very entertaining...

Current Mood: apathetic

that was random...

was randomly reading about the passion of the christ whilst bored and looking at publicity shots on yahoo. the final picture, rather bizarrely, was of moulin rouge!

which somewhat detracted from the screenshot that came before it. ;)

incidentally, i'm actually rather tempted to see it when it comes out. though i'll probably spend the majority of it hiding behind my hands and cringing violently. i'm intrigued as to the aramaic/latin it's all filmed in...

Current Mood: amused

a quote from saturday that i just remembered, for your amusement.

whilst discussing the casting of the phantom movie...

Me:  And... Simon Callow's in it.
Eni: Who?
Me: He was in Four Weddings and A Funeral.
Eni:  Ah, I haven't seen that one yet.
Me: Oh, well, he's the one in the kilt who dies in Four Weddings...
Eni:  SOMEONE DIES?!? ... Oh, wait.  Four Weddings and A Funeral...

that entire snippet of conversation is probably the eni-est thing ever... and considering i've only known her little over a month, it's rather impressive i know that. :)

Current Mood: amused

translucent: baaad fandoms

translucent: all of 'em!

translucent: hell, dude. do you do this with real people?

translucent: because you could make scary livings out of it, somehow..

teylaminh: heck, no. real people are impossible to 'ship for :)

teylaminh: i only seem to be any good at human emotions when the people aren't real :)

Current Mood: amused

last night, in the midst of conversing over MSN (and in the corridor, just to add to the pointlessness) and tormenting becky in her room, vicky and i discovered this on her notice board:

if it's not clear, it says "do stuff". yup. for the 16th november, her note to herself was to Do Stuff.

i think everyone should Do Stuff more often. :)

admittedly, you probably had to be there, but it was hysterical at the time...

so, in stumbling into hideously horrible and scary spuffy badfic (scary smutfic, in fact, the worst kind) and suffering briefly from car-crash-syndrome (you just have to... keep... reading... *shudders*) i find the following review. this wins the award for Best Review Ever:

"D'Hoffryn, Lord of Arash'Maharr, wishes for you to be informed that he is displeased with your misspelling of his name. Anyanka, on the other hand, is probably giggling."

of course, the fact that it's nearly 2.30am may account for why i find it so amusing. but still... hee!

finally managed to update the frelling PotC thing.

( voila! )

loses something in the long wait, i feel. but anyway, there it is.

just about to tweak the layout a little more.

and, yes, the internet's still down...

look!

neil gaiman and tim burton - in comic form! it is, of course, all one huge injoke...

well, i nearly got out of going to my father's today, but figured it would be a change of scenery if nothing else, and went anyway. it was relatively uneventful, really. he showed me pictures of america (thank you very much...) most of which were of scenery. there were a couple of times square (although not of any interesting billboards) and some of the washington monument and the white house, but the rest were just hills. and not even good photos. the man has no eye for placement...

i got simpered over by my grandmother. her theory on plaster casting is that they only put them on "to keep you quiet"... um. right. other than that, it was bearable...

oh, yeah, apart from the stench of rotting meat that was permeating the entire house. no, i don't know why. we think something died in the chimney. whatever, it smelt foul and was only drowned out by the air freshener after an hour... it's nearly enough to turn me veggie. nearly.

all that aside, i dug out something very silly that i want to share. back in year 11 or thereabouts, when science fiction club was run by Cheryl, Our Friendly Neighbourhood Sixth Former, and we were still showing non-stop episodes of the x-files (and i was unhealthily obsessed) she did a competition to win a poster, and a copy of one of the books. the poster in question was a very large, portrait-orientated one, with half of david duchovny's face and half of gillian anderson's, on either side of it. chris carter has the same poster in his office. naturally, i had to have it.

the competition was to write x-files limericks, the best winning the poster and book. a week later, and here i quote cheryl, "we had 15 entries. all from the same person."

yes. that would be me. i gave her a selection of limericks and random x-related poetry, and won; i gave the book to jennifer since i already had it, and took my poster home on the bus, triumphant. so, i managed to dig out a piece of paper today with some of them on. it's not all of them (cheryl still has them), but it's the better ones. enjoy :D

Ode to Cheryl
Cheryl, you are brilliant!
Cheryl, you are great!
Please give me your poster,
Cos you're my bestest mate!

(apparently, when i asked her about it, she "was touched". aw. we loved cheryl... she's probably a Proper Lawyer now.)

Gilly A. has left Clyde Klotz,
She used to love him lots and lots
But now she'll save
Her love for Dave.
For him, she's got the hots
(We hope)

(this was written during about season 3 or thereabouts, after gillian anderson had divorced her husband, clyde klotz. also, obviously, pre-téa leoni. we were insatiable shippers... oh, look, it rhymed, okay?)

Humbug
Monsters, mutants, government sneaks,
Aliens, worms in icy peaks,
But one X-File
That raised a smile
Was about some circus freaks.

(humbug was just a frelling fantastic episode.)

Fearful Symmetry
"Tyger, tyger, burning bright,
In the forests of the night..."
Now we know
He's a UFO,
Waiting to take flight.

(yeah, that one sucks. another example of it rhyming and sounding good...)

Mulder
There was a young man from Vancouver
Whose hero was J. Edgar Hoover;
Sam knows you can fly,
High up in the sky,
Since the aliens came to remove 'er.

(tee hee. okay, i know he's not from vancouver. 'martha's vineyard' didn't rhyme...)

Squeeze/Tooms
There was a young man who could seize
Any chimney, and get down it with ease.
His victims he'd kill
(Once, at Powhatan Mill)
And one thing he could do was squeeeeeze...

(incidentally, i watched squeeze again the other night. it was the first and only episode to scare the heck out of me, and i remember why. those frelling terrifying yellow eyes...)

Silly
The Truth Is Out There, so they say.
Mulder'll find out where, some day.

Bad At Limericks
The X-Files is a programme,
It's shown 'most everywhere
And I'm not very good
At this
Rhyming Thing
Am I?

And finally...
So now my rhyming's finished,
And, as you can see,
I've put in so much effort,
You really should pick me!

hehe. not surprising i won, really, is it?

right, i think that's everything. going back to the fracture clinic tomorrow to (hopefully) get this bloody cast changed for a lighter one. i presume they want to re-x-ray me... i'll keep you posted.

Current Mood: nostalgic

possibly the best blonde joke ever.

seriously! you won't believe me 'til you try it...

Current Mood: amused

You've read the Cookie Monster fic...

You've raised eyebrows at the Chatfic...

You've giggled hysterically at the Pantsfic*...

Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...

Minh and Cyril present...

The BuffyPotterNetDiscScape

(title subject to change)

Starring...

John Crichton
Aeryn Sun
Chiana
Ka D'Argo
Bialar Crais
Joolushko-Tunai-Henta-Fevalis
Noranti
Sikozu Shanu
Scorpius
Captain Braca
Harvey
Pa'u Zotoh Zhaan
Stark
Pilot
Moya

Buffy Summers
William "Spike" d'Bloody
Rupert Giles
Dawn Summers
Willow Rosenburg
Tara McClay
Xander Harris
Anya Jenkins
Clement
Lorne
~*~
Captain Jack Sparrow

DEATH
Rincewind
~*~
Harry Potter
Ron Weasley
Hermione Granger
Serverus Snape
Draco Malfoy
Rubius Hagrid
Dobby the House Elf
~*~
Mitzi
Felicia
Bernadette

And!

A vast array of barbarians, healers, monks, valkyries, wizards, knights, and samurais, amongst others, and the premiere appearance of the Amazing Floating Action Tags!

Also starring, due to popular demand**:

teylaminh as Godlike-Alien Minh

ennixeve as Godlike-Alien Ennixeve

last_dance as Godlike Alien pet Io'Nim

and, in their debut appearance***,

sweeterthing as Dulcima, the Godlike Alien Chief

frightened as P'xym's, the Apocalyptic Sock Demon

Join the intrepid adventurers of the Uncharted Territories as they race to stop an apocalypse! Follow their trans-dimensional journey into the Buffyverse! Regale in the presence of random characters from other fandoms! Point and laugh at the blatant Mary Sue!

The Crossover. Coming to a fanfiction site near you. Soon...

*If you haven't read them, do so. Go on.
**Well, I say popular. It's unlikely. But it needs a premise, and the godlike aliens seem to be a good one from where I'm sitting.
***Of course, she doesn't know this yet. Although I guess she does now. Um. *hides*

Current Mood: silly
Current Music: i have "time after time" in my head

(i have the overwhelming urge to add, in tippex pen, multiple commas, and also, under "No I'm not a lesbian." the words: "only 20% of one. and only when very drunk".)

(but i won't.)

oh. sweet. jesus.

i hope to all that is holy that this one's fake...

badfic! (because it's been a while...)

currently, the phrase, "Turns out, Scorpius is like eighty-five percent water. Who knew?" is making me cackle hysterically.

from here, if you're curious. he finally updated...

and, what i was going to do before villagephotos screwed me over...

courtesy of naomi, thanks to an utterly hysterical mental image had at some point last night - in fact, here's the snippet of conversaton:

me:
*gets mental image of lorne singing "if you're good to mama". aw-face*
me:
and, yes, in gold lame...
her:
aww! awwwwwwwwwww!
me:
told ya...
her:
*bounces. quite literally*
her:
awwwww!
me:
right. your latest photoshop challenge, should you choose to accept it...
her:
*giggles a lot*
her:
good as done, milady. although how i'm supposed to get something lorne-shaped into a mama-shaped dress...

and, for your viewing pleasure, i present... the finished product... giggle at will :)