On being a shipper (long post; 1/?)

[teylaminh]

This is something I was thinking about at about three o'clock this morning, whilst trying to get to sleep (despite being tired, oh, six hours earlier...) but I thought I'd share it. We all know (and if we don't, where have we been, pray?) that I'm a shipper of the highest order. I am, in fact, a Professional, except I don't get paid. If, however, I could earn a pound for every 'ship I've managed to predict before it happened or was obviously going to happen, I would be a very rich lady.

So. This post is going to be long, and in it, I shall attempt to explain, for no reason at all other than I feel like it, what couples I ship for (in the main, anyway; I'll exclude the various movie ones because they're ultimately pointless, with a few exceptions as you'll see...), when I did, and why, and any associated rants. But I'll try to keep the rants short. :)

Feel free to comment/critique/add your own. It's a free-for-all. I'd appreciate feedback on my ramblings, if only to commend my efforts. :)


These will be in no particular order, except perhaps whichever order my psyche deems preferable, and will be done in blocks by show (or book or musical or perhaps random film, despite above comment...); the 'ships themselves will probably be in slight order of preference... So, here we go.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (if only because I'm listening to Evanescence and it's Buffyesque, as already explained...)

Buffy/Spike - currently my 'ship of choice in the Buffydom. However, prior to this I was a Buffy/Giles-er (see later), and when last_dance was enthusing about Buffy/Spike before it even happened, I was dubious. My excuse is that I wasn't a fully fledged Buffy geek until 'Fool For Love', at which point I was hooked, and realised she was right. I'd watched episodes a few times in Season 1, 2 and 3, and never, ever understood the whole Buffy/Angel thing; it just made no sense whatsoever to me, probably because of missing so much canon. So it's something of a surprise that I'm a Buffy/Spike-r. Mind you, most of the blame can, of course, be assigned to James Marsters and his glorious KittenEyes expression - Buffy is definitely blind.

As a shipper in general, I am drawn to doomed and angsty relationships like a moth to a very bright thing. Hence, the Angst Queen I became. There's no point to fluffyfluffy relationships unless there's been pain before the fluff. It's just not satisfying otherwise; you don't feel like you've travelled a great journey and arrived at your location after years of strife and turmoil. I think that was one of the things that annoyed me about Buffy/Angel - it went the wrong way; there was fluff, then there was pain, and then there was fluff again, and then it was just silly. (Forgive me my biased and probably wrong opinion; I generally prefer Angelus to Angel anyway... he's more amusing.) It was the same for Buffy/Riley - not that there can be much drama when you're dating a plank, but anyway...

And, of course, you can blame the Tortured Soul Complex. And the fact that William was a geek. And the fact that Buffy needs to be hit over the head with several blunt things, because - hello? - how much longer can she ignore the gloriousness of the cheekbones...? It all helps...

However, it still takes a lot for a 'ship to capture my imagination to so much of a degree that I can fic it. With Buffy/Spike, a lot of the fic I do is merely psyche satisfaction: how things could have been, how things might be if they'd ever admit their faults, that sort of stuff. (Which is basically what a majority of fic tends to be; good fic, anyway...) Basically, the inherent flaws of the characters are what makes the 'ship work for me; they're utterly wrong for each other, in every possible way, and somehow, it's perfect, and you know that if they ever were to stay together for any amount of time, they'd probably destroy each other. Spike knows Buffy too well for his own good, and too well for hers; she knows nothing about him, and what she doesn't know can't hurt her. There's a hundred years of history between them that no amount of talking can cover - especially considering how much of it Spike wouldn't want to remember, all newly souled and repentant, and how much of it he'd be entirely unwilling to tell her. (Remember 'Touched' - "I've seen things you couldn't imagine, and done things I'd rather you didn't...") It's unhealthy, but, my God, I love it.

This one could go on forever, without my getting anywhere, so I'll move on to the next one...

Buffy/Giles - it's hard to explain this one. I'm not a romantic shipper, nor am I specifically a 'family' shipper. The only way I managed to even try and explain it was in part of a chapter of "Cradle", done through Giles' perspective. I can't really put it into words; I know that romantic Buffy/Giles shippers scare the crap out of me, just as "you're like a daughter/father to me" fics annoy me in a way I can't explain. I'm not inspired to write about them, myself, even though I had a B/G thread going through "Cradle" underneath the B/S one; that was just forwarding my plot, and the entire thing was a sapfest, anyway. It's sort of... mutual respect, but more than that. They love each other, but they don't have to say so, even if the occasional reassurance is nice. Undoubtedly, Giles does love her like a daughter - but the same is true of all the Scoobies, and if anything, he's more 'parental' towards Willow and Xander than towards Buffy. Just the same, they'll never be 'in love' because it goes deeper than that.

I guess that's what happens when you put two volatile personalities together and expect them to work amicably. ;)

Willow/Xander - this was another of my early 'ships, again, based on the angst factor. I still have slight W/X leanings, but, again, I'm not inspired to write about them (and, again, there was a W/X thread underneath my main one in "Cradle", alongside the W/Tara one and the X/Anya one...) Well, not that inspired. I do get the occasional idea that never gets off the ground; most recently, little random Willow lines that never led anywhere, like "Can't even scream, can't even cry, even though Xander's missing an eye", after the Caleb-incident when she's sitting with him in hospital, and a sarcastic "How would I know about hurt, Xander? I've only been in love with you since I was five..." inspired by 'Becoming, part II', after she sees him kissing Cordy. The thing with Willow/Xander is: it's always been there, because they've been best friends since they were three, and it'll always be there in the future. That's why I loved 'Grave''s ending, with Xander saving the world by merely loving Willow. Remember in F-R-I-E-N-D-S (wow, i haven't written it like that since i was 16... :D) how they planned 'backups'? Willow and Xander would so be each other's backup. :D

I don't know what it says about my personality, however, that I completely adore Willow with Tara (and with Oz; I continually forget how utterly adorable those two were, and how painful that breakup was) and keep trying to pair off Xander with Andrew... ;)

And, as a little aside: Kennedy has to die. Thank you.

Angel [which I could have put under Buffy to save space, but you'd all've nit-picked... :P]

Cordelia/Doyle - I was the Cordy/Doyle shipper, I tell ya. Those two were frelling adorable together. 'Hero' is probably my favourite Angel episode of all time; it was after that season that I pretty much lost interest. Doyle was my favourite character, and I gave up any hope of them bringing him back once Wesley reappeared (even though Lorne is a perfectly passable replacement...) - of course, I'm going to have to start watching now, though I won't say why for fear of spoilers for those that don't know already... which is very few, I imagine, but anyway. I also have to give up hope of them bringing him back since Glenn Quinn died...

(Incidentally, they showed a random Angel as part of Sky One's Spike Night, and I suddenly decided Doyle was attractive. I think I've inherited the hormones of some random 15-year-old; this has to stop, right now, because God help me when Frasier starts up again...)

But yes. Cordy/Doyle was based on the Tortured Soul Complex, and the fact that somewhere deep down, I knew she'd fall for him eventually; I was right, of course. Everything leading up to 'Hero' suggested as much. It's also because you know Doyle would appreciate it ;) and he'd treat her right; he wouldn't cheat on her (which is a whole nother issue with Xander, but my W/X-shipper was too excited about it at the time...) and even though he couldn't offer her much, he'd do whatever the Hell he could to make her happy. Yup, that would have been a good one.

Cordelia/Angel - admittedly, my only experience was the cliffhanger/beginning of Season whatever-it-was when she became a PTB, but I still found it ten times less nauseating than Buffy/Angel ever was. I am, of course, the evil anti-B/A, but nevertheless... I think it was the whole rushing-to-tell-her-how-he-felt thing that did it. That, and Angel annoys me much, much less in Angel than in Buffy, which just goes to prove that he's better off without her...

Farscape

John/Aeryn - wow. What to say... John and Aeryn are the uber-fabulous pairing, and possibly the angstiest I've ever come across. The reason John/Aeryn works is because it was meant to be there right from the start. DK and Rockne always intended 'scape to be a love story; all that science fiction crap was just a sideline. ;) Seriously, though. That's all it is: it's a love story. And the reason it works so well is because, despite that, despite the fact that it should be plain sailing, it never is. There's the chase - John spending a season and a half trying to find Aeryn's soul - and the admittance; then, there's the Angst. John and Aeryn continually get only five minutes of pure happiness before something cataclysmic happens to destroy it again; usually, it's one or the other or both of them dying in a horrible way.

But that still doesn't explain why John and Aeryn, of all the couples I ship for, captured my imagination like they did in the Days of Perpetual Angstfic. I think the main reason is, at the time, it was the year after the O.T.-thing, and my brain was... let's say unhealthy, shall we? I was in an emotionally bad place, and writing was the best way out of it. Farscape just happened to be on Season Three at the time, providing me with a whole lot of wonderful angst, and fantastic characters experiencing it. John is the alien in an alien world; he doesn't understand anything except his own human traits: his emotions, his customs, his pop culture. These are the only things he has to ground himself; without them, without being who he is, he'd probably go insane. Conversely, Aeryn doesn't have these things: she doesn't have a home, there's nothing she's passionate about searching for, she's got no family to speak of, and 'emotions', to her, are nothing but a hindrance. So when John comes along, of course he's going to fall in love with the completely unattainable one; that's just the kind of guy he is... Hence, he brings Aeryn out of herself, digs out those emotions she didn't need before meeting him, and the results, of course, are not pretty. You give a person emotions, and then you can frell with them, whether you intend to or not. She loses John, and goes crazy - and Hell, wouldn't we all? - and part of the reason I completely love 'The Choice' is that, by that stage, she doesn't even try to hide it. John loses her, he mopes, he loses the will to live, but he never stops trying; even when Harvey's screwing with his head in 'Revenging Angel', it's the thought of Aeryn that pulls him through. And even when they finally managed to Talk About It Like Civilised People, it didn't last.

So what am trying to say in this mess? Basically, that John and Aeryn are normal. But within that normality, they're totally fucked up, and it makes fantastic television. It's a soap opera in space, but it doesn't seem like it (at least, most of the time, when Ben Browder's not writing it...) We feel for them because we've all been through it, in one way or another, and, in the mad, bad world of pure escapism, we want them both to get the happiness they deserve. And, inevitably, they will. If we ever get that bloody miniseries...

That... ended up longer than I intended...

Scorpius/Sikozu - now... this one's interesting. I saw it coming from the start, based purely on the terrifying flirting. Even then, I got a glimpse that it might end up as something more. Scorpius and Natira had scary flirting, too, but she was an evil, back-stabbing, eye-popping wench, so it was never going to work. With Sikozu... I don't know. Possibly because Attractive Female Crew Member Number 94 was showing an interest in our favourite Nosferatu-lookalike rather than John, and... something clicked. The flirting was mutual, and genuine, unlike with Natira. And by the time we got to 'Twice Shy', I was just very impressed by the fact that I was watching Scorpius falling in love with someone, and it wasn't even remotely scary. In fact, it was rather sweet, and the Mysterious Allying With Aeryn For Unknown Reasons, which had me worried pretty much all season, faded into the background...

I mean, come on. When Scorpius starts saying things like "I will kill your attacker!" and quoting from the SuperVillains' Handbook, you know it must be love. :D

Jool/Crais - I know I was in the minority with this one. Turns out that TGUT spotted it, too. It was 'Fractures', when they were working on the Boolite remains; Crais knocked Jool to the ground to keep her safe, and nobody's telling me that was just Peacekeeper gentlemanly instincts... Also, she smacked him pretty hard when that ship blew up (it's been a while since I saw it; forgive lack of remembrance) which seemed more than general anger. Something clicked between those two. Hence why I was so annoyed by Jool/D'Argo, and not just because D'Argo/Chiana is better anyway... There's not much to say about Jool/Crais because it was so short-lived and practically non-existent, but it could have been amusing. Some 'ships you follow for the pain; some are just for kicks. :)

The rest - less obsessively, I've also shipped briefly for Jool/Chiana and Crais/Stark, but to explain them away would involve too many long stories, and I'm getting tired... last_dance would love me to admit to John/Harvey, but I won't... :P

The X-Files

Mulder/Scully - I was a die-hard Mulder/Scully shipper for most of its nine-year run. Mulder and Scully will always be close to my heart in terms of couples I've shipped for, purely because it was The X-Files that defined my becoming a shipper in the first place. It was the BBC premiere of 'Irresistible' (Season 2, episode 13) and it was the first offical Mulder/Scully hug. From then, I was hooked... Compared to most of my 'ships, Mulder and Scully did nothing. There have been, on record: more hugs than I can remember; ditto hand-holding and general other touching; four proper kisses, one of which doesn't count; one incidence of them actually sleeping together, which was never shown, but mentioned in passing. It was all innocent, because of procedure, but we knew they loved each other, and that made it special. They knew it, too, but until Season 6, didn't even admit it.

Mulder and Scully represent the nine years of my life that I spent being utterly obsessed with the show; they represent, in essence, my life at secondary school, and the onset of my decidedly obsessive personality. It's because of this that I still consider them the more 'innocent' of my 'ships, with 'scape being the more 'mature'. (This is also probably the case, to some degree, because of the way each was handled.) M/S represents, also, the success of peer pressure. Chris Carter expressly stated at the start that they would never be a couple; by the time he ended the series for good, there was no way he could avoid it any more, because of the way the characters had evolved, and the way the canon developed, and what he owed the fans for their dedication and unending hope. And after nine years... c'mon, what else is he gonna do?

So why do they get to me, even now? What is it about Mulder and Scully that set them apart from the others? One thing, for starters: that oh-so-fabulous U.S.T. It wasn't written in, it was acted in. Possibly, a lot of it was also thought in by the fans, myself included; but when you've got nothing to go on, of course your brain is going to fill in the gaps. There's so much unspoken between them that, often, no words are needed. And when the words do come, they still leave more questions than they answer. Another thing: it's forbidden, and that's part of the appeal. They're not allowed to be together. Yet, by the end of the final season, they are, openly and blatantly in front of Skinner (not that he'd do anything; he's helped them both on too many occasions.) And, even through all the angst and the pain and the desperate need for one of them to crack, there was still completely insane humour; they argue like Old Marrieds, and Scully complains, on one occasion, that she feels like she's in an episode of Mad About You.

There was never any doubt in my mind that one day, it would happen. I also knew that Chris Carter wouldn't disappoint us, that when he did it, it would be absolutely pitch-perfect. True to my belief, it was; I knew he was more sensible than to show - or even tell us about - the consummation of their relationship. This was the one thing that kept me watching for nine years; I knew, deep down, we'd never get to hear either of them say 'I love you'; I never even thought we'd see them kiss, but on reflection, I think everyone would have gone nuts if they hadn't. But the point is, they don't need to say it. It's always been obvious; we all knew Mulder was in love with her from at least Season 2 onwards, probably before, and Scully... just went with it. I'm sure I did have this worked out once, but I've forgotten it. Probably around the same time, anyway. But by Season 5, maybe even earlier than that, it went so much deeper. This was a connection beyond the physical, even beyond the emotional; this was a connection of the heart and soul and absolutely everything, purely because of what they both went through. Thats why I adore Mulder and Scully so much. There has never been anything like them on television, and probably won't be again. Chris Carter did come close to replicating that with Doggett and Reyes, whom I also ship for, but not enough to comment, which probably goes to show how good the acting/writing is than anything else. But still, it's never been done in anything else...

There was going to be more of this, but I can no longer type, so will finish it tomorrow. Or probably not tomorrow, because I have an essay to start. Perhaps after essayness. Anyway. There will be much more. I have many fandoms still to do...

Comments

[rachel2205.livejournal.com]

Gotta love Spuffy.

I think you're right in that Buffy and Spike in season 6 were bad for each other, but I think by season 7 Buffy needed Spike. They didn't really even touch, but she leaned on him. He could see her bad side and not mind, the side that she was afraid to show other people, and although Buffy in season 7 irked me a lot (such a bitch!), the relationship they had was real, I felt. More than when they were having the Hot Sex.

[teylaminh.livejournal.com]

mm, definitely. buffy seemed to regain at least a little of the humanity she lost in season 6 by the time the end of season 7 came around. i'm still not going to forgive her for either angel or the 'cookie dough' thing, though...

one thing that amused me: buffy's freudian slip in 'first date'.

"why does everyone think i'm still in love with spike?"

surely it should have been "why does everyone still think i'm in love with spike?"... ;) loved that.

[rachel2205.livejournal.com]

Yeah... Good one. I hated the dough speech too. The whole Angel turning up thing was a bit pointless, really, although I guess it was there to please Buffy/Angel shippers. I used to be one, but you gotta move on, people! as they say.

[teylaminh.livejournal.com]

i liked the analogy itself, and it would have been very apt, had she not implied at the end that, no matter what happens, it would always be angel she went back to... that annoyed me. it was implied even more so at the end of the novellisation, too.

i get why angel turned up; joss had to do that or fear the wrath of the b/a shippers. seriously, only joss would put himself in that sort of position so late into the final series. i just think he could have handled the angel-finding-out-about-spike thing more... delicately? i liked spike seeing it, though; i mean, not that he had to see it, just that it resulted in him and buffy actually having what may constitute an adult conversation... :)

[rachel2205.livejournal.com]

Indeed about the Buffy/Spike thing. They did have a much more grown up relationship than Buffy and Angel. I rewatched season 1 recently, and Buffy and Angel fall in love but have only spoken about 3 times! Crazy stuff.

I thought the dough speech was just too, too cheesy for words!

[teylaminh.livejournal.com]

my main problem with buffy/angel is that they fell in love when buffy was 16, and since angel left, they've both changed too much, and are, for all intents and purposes still in love with each other as they used to be, not as they are now... whereas spike loves buffy as she is at this moment, and he's seen her change.

cheesy, yes, but so very buffy... :)